tales of some exes

I’ve had my fair share of interesting relationships and one of my friends favorite things to do is to bring up stories of my ex-boyfriends. So, here is a wonderful list of the FANTASTIC relationships that I have experienced. Enjoy the ride. *Names have been changed…duh*

Boyfriend #1: We will call him Jack

First off let me just say that this guy was gross. This is that relationship that I look back on and I’m just like….why Ellie…why? He was my first kiss (which I oh so regret) and my first boyfriend, so I thought I was in love and all that. My mom HATED him and tried to get me to dump him and he actually texted her almost threatening her. WHAT WAS I DOING?!? Fast forward to the present and he has dropped out of school because he wants to be a Major League Gamer (he sucks) and he is a “Vape Activist.” You laugh but that is seriously his Instagram bio…”Vape Activist.” Good for you Jack. Go you.

Boyfriend #2:

There aren’t too many stories about this one because we weren’t that close. This guy took me to a dance and spent the entire time in the corner of the room watching ESPN on his phone. I did not see him dance once haha. Then another time, I took him to the pumpkin patch with my family and he had earphones in 90% of the time and wouldn’t talk to us! So that ended quickly.

Boyfriend #3: We will call him Richard 🙂

So I really, really liked Richard. He was sweet, funny, outgoing, and super sarcastic. We dated for a couple months and I thought he was the best thing ever. Then, he went to camp for a weekend and didn’t have his phone. When he got back I didn’t hear from him for 2 weeks. I was freaking out a little bit because I was wondering if something happened to him. He didn’t go to the same school, so I never saw him. Then, 2 weeks after this camp he called me and said “Ellie…I realized something at camp…I’m gay.” WHAT THE FUCK? That would’ve been nice to know like 4 months before when we had started dating haha. So, we didn’t talk for a while after that, but then he called me a couple months later and said that he was going through a really hard time back then and that he was just confused; he actually does like girls. Mhmm. Okay.

Boyfriend #4: Derek

Derek was my best friend boyfriend. We were in the same friend group for forever and everyone was always like “Oh Derek totally likes you” and I always ignored it because I didn’t think he did! Well we ended up dating and it was really awesome! As anyone else who has dated their best friend knows, it is super fun. I thought things were going great. We dated for a couple months and he traveled to Korea for the summer. We got a texting app for international distance and I didn’t hear from him much and would usually get about a text a day. I blamed it on the time change. I went to one of my friend’s houses and I found out that he had been messaging her the entire time he had been in Korea all day long. I got a break-up text from him the next day…all the way from Korea.

Boyfriend #5: Joe

Joe was an annoying relationship. It felt more like babysitting than an actual relationship. He was one of those guys who listened to metal music and was always sad because “life isn’t fair.” Now I’m not saying metal is bad! I actually like it! It was just the fact that he used it as an excuse to be sad like “oh I’m sad and I can prove it because I listen to depressing metal and I’ll put it on my snapchat for everyone to see how sad I am.” Something that always bothered me about Joe was that his best friend was a girl. We will call her Lily. I’m a super jealous person. I completely admit that. It’s a problem and I try to control it, but I get super jealous about things like that. Lily always bothered me. I talked to Joe about it a couple times and he would always assure me that he didn’t think she was attractive or he thought she was annoying or something like that. Well out of the blue one day Joe informs me that he “just wants to be friends” and a couple months later he asked out Lily and they are dating to this day! However, I have to say they are super cute together.

So those are some of my boyfriend stories! I’m sure I’ll think of more or my friends will read this and remind me of some and I’ll add those on. Now you know how bad I am at dating! I suck at choosing boys. Hope you enjoyed these 🙂

I love you all. Be adventurous. Chérir la vie.

Ellie X.

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