the way of the first love

It was the tingle sent from your fingertips as they traced my chin,

The heat in my cheeks when you felt my skin.

The hidden smile of knowing tucked in the corner of your mouth.

The passion you ignited that I had tried to cast out.


It was the way  you could laugh and make demons fly away,

The conversations we made until the break of day,

The letters we wrote of the feelings that grew,

The way the sensations never left to make sure I knew.


It was the way your eyes burned with emotion looking my way.


It was almost enough to make me forget

The anger, the lies, and the fights we regret.

The passion turned rage into furious nights

spent debating and wondering when will it end?


The feeling of anger and jealousy grew,

until the heart full of love was coated anew

and the love was still there and beating with might

but hidden by shadows of rage dark as night.


The way that its over and I still can’t let go.

The way my heart beats with love, but I already know

all the fights and the screams mean I can’t return

to the man who’s very name can make my face burn.


The way I’m still holding on to my feelings and pains

of the very first love to course through my veins.

The first passionate, ridiculous, soon to be memory.

The way that first love overtakes and can’t leave you be.


Ellie X.


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