Strings

I have been having some serious writer’s block the last couple of months (which I sincerely apologize for…working on it). Luckily, my friend is an amazing writer, so I want to share one of her poems with you. The poem is about her relationship with one of our friends. Enjoy!

Strings
by: Elsa Gray

The riff between us
Is less of a riff
And more of a line that
Bends and curves
With the beat of my laughter.

The line between us
Connects
And separates.

And as you pull farther and farther away
I feel myself being pulled
With you.

Like the cans with the strings connecting them,
Except with a sock stuffed in the opening
That makes it all the more impossible
To understand where you’re coming from.

And yet I have never understood anyone more.

You are a jar with a lid
That I am too weak to open.
You are a book
And every other word is misspelled.
You are my favorite poem
That I read a million times and never understood.

You are too far
And too close
And too loud
And too silent
And too everything

And I am too attached.

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paradox

So you want to step up and play the game?

You want to come back? Want to make up? Want to try again?

Well, where were you when things got rough?

Not just from you, but from life, and it was all too much.

The walls closed in further in and again.

I was trapped in my own mind

making me blind

those who were kind

were blurred before my very eyes.

And now you’re back and you’re here.

Let me make this oh so clear, I can’t do it again…no, not again.

I can recognize the cycle.

I can recognize the lies.

I can see the way you make to hypnotize

with your eyes

and the disguise

of a guy who’s gonna be there and who cares,

but after the years & three tries

I’ve realized that you won’t and you don’t.

You’ve created this world from bottom to top,

but no you never stopped to look back

now there’s wall after wall.

You can’t get out ’cause your brain is a maze and you’ve been found out.

Every turn is a step with a lie you made

as an honest remark with a fuckboy gaze.

You wielded your tongue to defend yourself,

Relied on your wit to get yourself out.

But your contradictions

and decisions

and lack of revisions

has led to the collision

of all the things that used to fuel you.

Look at you.

Who are you?

Can’t you see in the mirror I was the one who was beside you?

I stood my ground for you.

Gave my life to you.

Ignored all the phrases people used to say about you.

But I got caught in your maze and you left me behind.

Now I can see you starting to unwind

and you can’t react because in your brain now you’re blocked.

So stop.

 

You are your own paradox.

 

-Ellie X.

my love, my all

I cannot describe all emotions locked inside

They are building within threatening to collide

You consume my thoughts by both day and night

with a love so fierce that I’d never fight

 

You are my love, my all, all I hope to be

With your eyes that shine, they set me free

 

But our paths are diverging just like the yellow wood

The walls are reforming where they once stood

I  am scared of the break that will split through my heart

On the day you will say that we must stay apart

My heart to you will never grow cold

But it is wary of love you my find down the road

 

You are my love, my all, all I hope to be

With your eyes that shine, they set me free

I repeat and say, I need you the most

Convincing in order to keep the repose

 

I ignored my head, my heart I chose

To you I drew near, but I got too close

The break is imminent, my heart now knows

For the warmth in you has forever gone cold

 

You were my love, my all, all I hoped to be

Your eyes that shone no longer gleam

I will always love you, that you must know

And it is because I love you, I must let you go

 

My love, My all, You will always be

Every once in a while I hope you think of me

 

-Ellie X.

 

 

 

the way of the first love

It was the tingle sent from your fingertips as they traced my chin,

The heat in my cheeks when you felt my skin.

The hidden smile of knowing tucked in the corner of your mouth.

The passion you ignited that I had tried to cast out.

 

It was the way  you could laugh and make demons fly away,

The conversations we made until the break of day,

The letters we wrote of the feelings that grew,

The way the sensations never left to make sure I knew.

 

It was the way your eyes burned with emotion looking my way.

 

It was almost enough to make me forget

The anger, the lies, and the fights we regret.

The passion turned rage into furious nights

spent debating and wondering when will it end?

 

The feeling of anger and jealousy grew,

until the heart full of love was coated anew

and the love was still there and beating with might

but hidden by shadows of rage dark as night.

 

The way that its over and I still can’t let go.

The way my heart beats with love, but I already know

all the fights and the screams mean I can’t return

to the man who’s very name can make my face burn.

 

The way I’m still holding on to my feelings and pains

of the very first love to course through my veins.

The first passionate, ridiculous, soon to be memory.

The way that first love overtakes and can’t leave you be.

 

Ellie X.