paradox

So you want to step up and play the game?

You want to come back? Want to make up? Want to try again?

Well, where were you when things got rough?

Not just from you, but from life, and it was all too much.

The walls closed in further in and again.

I was trapped in my own mind

making me blind

those who were kind

were blurred before my very eyes.

And now you’re back and you’re here.

Let me make this oh so clear, I can’t do it again…no, not again.

I can recognize the cycle.

I can recognize the lies.

I can see the way you make to hypnotize

with your eyes

and the disguise

of a guy who’s gonna be there and who cares,

but after the years & three tries

I’ve realized that you won’t and you don’t.

You’ve created this world from bottom to top,

but no you never stopped to look back

now there’s wall after wall.

You can’t get out ’cause your brain is a maze and you’ve been found out.

Every turn is a step with a lie you made

as an honest remark with a fuckboy gaze.

You wielded your tongue to defend yourself,

Relied on your wit to get yourself out.

But your contradictions

and decisions

and lack of revisions

has led to the collision

of all the things that used to fuel you.

Look at you.

Who are you?

Can’t you see in the mirror I was the one who was beside you?

I stood my ground for you.

Gave my life to you.

Ignored all the phrases people used to say about you.

But I got caught in your maze and you left me behind.

Now I can see you starting to unwind

and you can’t react because in your brain now you’re blocked.

So stop.

 

You are your own paradox.

 

-Ellie X.